Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
No stockings were hung, the trees were all bare, no sign that Santa Clause should ever go there.
On facebook, he'll find purchase, that feeling he will tap, exuding Christmas joy via computer on his lap.
Here Neal lied, all snug in his bed; an improvised poem springs out of his head.
Then on the task bar, did arose such a clatter. A blinking warning that something was the matter.
I clicked the icon with ultimate care, dreading what might be written on there.
It's just java I found, and sighed with relief. An update most urgent, the message was brief.
But then what to my wandering eyes did appear? But a security icon, UAC needed here.
With almost no thought, I almost did click, but then thought to myself, no wait, this is a trick!
Suspecting a trojan, I searched quite in vain, for the offending download from which it came.
Not Dozer, Conficker, Torpig, or Storm, what is your name you nefarious worm?
Just then I remembered, I'd forgotten my wall. Koobface is the virus dreaded by all!
Knowing my quarry, now I must try, to kill it at once, it forever must die!
A scanner at once did I download, this once had a icon shaped like a toad!
It chirped and it beeped then said with a smile, your system's been fine all this long while.
Another, another, and more did I try, but each said the same, sorry tough guy.
Growing quite desperate, I doubted myself, I googled, and googled, till I saw an elf!
The elf dressed in green, with pointy bell toes, with caption it said "I fix all worm woes!"
The network was slowing, the koob gaining power, I knew I must stop him within this last hour!
I clicked on the URL and awaited my fate. I prayed that that elfy would not be too late!
Once loaded, I did see, a battle ensue. Oh no, NOT THAT, twas a SCREEN ALL OF BLUE!
My hard disk, my files, I'd lost all my work. God damn that Bill Gates is a horrible jerk.
Then out of my speakers a laughter so cute. It sounded as I'd have imaged a newt.
The screen turned now to an image of smoke. The blue screen was nothing but a naughty elf joke.
He came on and said that my files were all fine, and warned me to take better precautions next time.
Left a note on my wall ere he vanished from sight: "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"
On a whim I decided to create this improvised poem in real time on facebook on Christmas Eve 2009. I posted line by line and at least two people enjoyed the experience. In that way, it was rather like a live performance!